HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

It was one of those endless slow weeks; you know those kind of weeks, when you spend call-less nights worrying if you’ll ever turn a trick again. The old adages: “Tricks are like buses, there’ll always be another” or “The drought will end” are never as comforting as a call. It was one of those weeks when you look in the mirror and start wondering why anybody would pay …
After an austere dinner at home I looked real close at the classifieds. I started daydreaming about weekend getaways and office parties and I was about ready to barf when my pager went off! At last, the rain!

The guy liked everything about me and wanted to see me as soon as I could get ready. Great! Money was coming my way! I grabbed some sex clothes out of the closet, quick changed, and snatched my trick bag. It was late, and I decided to splurge on a cab. Besides, I didn’t know how to get to such-and-such street anyway.

Finally I got there, paid the cab, and walked to this gate. The cab disappeared around a corner. Behind the gate was an alley leading to the back of this apartment where the guy lived. His instructions were to go to the end of the alley; there I’d find his unit.

There were no lights in the alley and it smelled. Across the street two guys were drinking out of paper bags and laughing at something, maybe me. I had the major creeps and there was no payphone in sight and I hardly knew where I was. I had to decide what to do quick; I didn’t want to look like I was in the situation I was in.

It seems anytime I tell someone that I’m a whore, they ask the same two questions: (1) “Aren’t you afraid of AIDS?” (Duh! As if HIV infects cash) and (2) “Aren’t you afraid some psycho is gonna kill you?” This article is not about safe sex. It addresses the second question, specifically in regards to outcall and incall work. Safety on the stroll is another story altogether, for another time.

As far as dangerous people and situations, personally I have had all my run-ins when I was not whoring. That’s not to say that you should never be cautious. Remember, we’re dealing with the general public and you never know who is out there. The basics to remember: screen your calls, have a buddy, pay attentions, leave a trail.

BEFORE YOU GO OR BEFORE THEY COME…

If you don’t have a system for safety already, ask yourself “Why not?” Doesn’t it make sense for someone who’s going to practice standards of safe sex to also develop standards for safe work? Don’t you think that a person planning harm to a sex worker has already taken into account our illegal and compromised position?
Talk to a lawyer or legal organization like the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and ask questions: If I’m a whore and I get attacked by a crazyman, and I want to report him, do I have to identify myself as a whore to the cops? If I take someone to court and the judge finds out I’m a prostitute, can I get arrested? Can I use the Fifth Amendment?

Take time to think out your options in case someone tries to harm you. You should think about what you are risking if you decide to press charges. Would it be worth it to involve the police with a client that refuses to pay? How about a client who had just tried to strangle you? It’s better to think out what you’d do before it happens so you don’t make rush decisions that you may regret later.
Have a pad and pen ready near your phone and in your trick bag. Have the phone numbers you need in a place you can remember, and when you make changes make sure you update them.

Screening calls takes common sense and practice, though there is no guarantee you won’t make a mistake in judgment. In talking with a client listen carefully; if something doesn’t sound quite right, ask him or her to repeat it or to explain further. When you’re talking to friends you know how a simple misunderstanding can get our of hand; what’s stopping that from happening with a client?
When a client suggests something that you don’t feel comfortable with, say so and see what the reaction is. If the client is willing to let you set boundaries, that’s good. If a client instead tries to bribe you or threatens to call someone else, you’re better off ending the conversation; the bribes and threats don’t stop. Keep notes with your pad, write down numbers of people who sound like bad news.

GET A BUDDY, BE A BUDDY…

Get yourself a buddy system. Having buddy systems does not mean you can let down your guard; it means having a plan in case something goes wrong. It means you’re not alone. First you need someone you can truly trust. The person doesn’t have to be another sex worker, but he or she should have some understanding of your work. The last thing you need after you’ve escaped the rapist is a lecture that whores are just asking for it. An advantage to having a fellow whore as a buddy is that you can compare takes on a client. Your buddy should have a key to your place, a list of friends to call, and a person to notify in case of emergency. Also, it’s good to have back-up buddies for when your number one buddy isn’t available.

When you’re going out on a call give your buddy all the information: client’s name, phone number, address, and expected time of arrival. Copy the same information on a piece of paper and leave it in a conspicuous spot at home, like taped to your phone. Change your phone message to say you’ve stepped out and should be back by such-and-such time.

Let someone see you. The person doesn’t have to know your business, but that same person could be a star witness later. If you’re traveling by bus, ask the bus driver to let you know where to get off, even if you already know. Say “goodnight” or “thank you” as you’re getting off.
If you’re traveling by cab, look at the driver’s ID plate on the dash and note the cab company. Make small talk, you might find a new friend (or client). When you get there, ask the driver to wait for your OK to leave; you might just need to hop back in. You might even ask the driver if s/he could pick you up in an hour.

If you’re taking your car, stop people when you’re near the client’s place and play dumb tourist. You can stop off at a corner store and ask the clerk for directions. If you’re going to a hotel, stop by a lobby store. The point is let someone see you.

ONCE YOU’RE THERE…

Be alert. Get the usual introductions over with and ask to use the phone. Call your buddy and say that you’ll call back after you’re done. If you don’t have a buddy to call, then leave yourself a message on your home phone machine. I’ve had some clients say they’re glad to know that I’ve got someone else looking out for me; sometimes they’re concerned for our safety too!
Try to get as good a look as possible at the place you’re visiting without acting like a health inspector.

Note the front door. One client of mine really gave me the creeps and I was extra wary during the session. On the way to the bathroom to wash up I caught a glimpse of the filthiest kitchen I’d ever seen. Piles of unwashed dishes, large lumps of rancid food – that was more than enough to convince me never to go back. He’s called several times since and I always made up excuses for not seeing him. The last time I stated that I could only see him at my place, as if I would! He declined and hasn’t called back since, and I’ve warned my friends to beware of him.

If you have trouble with a client in a session, your first priority is flight. It’s not the 98-year-old heart patient who will try something; it’s more likely to be someone who thinks that they can get away with it. Get outside and get help, not necessarily the police, depending on your judgment of the situation. Notify your buddy. Find a safe place to wait for help or a safe way to get home. Avoid being alone.

PICK UP YOUR CRUMBS…

Don’t forget to turn off your “alarm”. Call your buddy to say you’re done and OK. You don’t have to do this at your client’s; you can wait until you’re outside and at a pay phone, but DON’T FORGET TO CALL! Same goes if you agree to stay another hour. Once I lost track of time with a client and stayed well over the hour, and when I was about to leave my buddy called and demanded to speak to me.

My client was a little shaken up and asked me if I was a cop.

When you get home, get rid of your prominently placed note with the client’s information and change your phone message. What you’re doing is removing the trail you left in case something happened.

This is part of cleaning up and starting fresh.

Keep the same basic principles: screen your calls, have a buddy, pay attention, leave a trail. Here are a few additional tips.

There is no need to give out your address. If your client is meeting you at your place, have him or her call you from a spot near your place, preferable one you can see. Remember, most pay phones don’t accept calls. If the number your client is calling you at is a regular phone, you can get a description of what each of you will be wearing. If you’re having your client call a beeper, instruct him or her to leave the location of the phone and description on your voicemail. If your beeper doesn’t have voicemail, ask the client for a description before s/he leaves, along with some kind of verbal code (like “1-2-3-4”) for when they arrive.

Before you go out to get your client. Change your phone message to say that you’re busy and you’ll be back at such-and-such time. Once you get your client inside, call your buddy and say you’ll call when you’re done.

You know your own place, and that is an advantage, but that doesn’t mean you can throw caution to the wind. Stay alert. If the client starts trouble, ask him or her to leave. If they still give you a hard time, go to the phone and start dialing – the building manager, the cops, your buddy – show that you’re not afraid to take action. You may have to flee your own home just to get yourself safe.
On the other hand, if things go smoothly, when you’re done with your session, escort your client back outside to the street. Call your buddy, change your phone message, and enjoy a hot bath.

Whorezine was the brainchild of Vic St. Blaise and started at the front of the 'zine revolution in the 1990s, offering both men and women in the business fun insights and useful information from around the globe.