HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

I was running on a tight schedule. I had just come back from the Laundromat, where my beeper went off during the spin cycle, and had to call for downtown. After doing this guy I had to rush back to my place to see Tony, one of my best regulars. It’s that high you get when you’ve got two calls lined up back to back, one’s a new guy, so there’s that excitement, and the other is a regular, frosting on the cake. I gave myself barely enough time to take the bus to the hotel to see the first guy to save money, and figured I’d splurge for a cab on the way back.

While sitting on the bus I looked for something to do and started searching my pockets. It was then that I started to fall from my whore high. I didn’t have any condoms on me, let alone any lube. Oh well, I could call the guy from the lobby and see if he had any. If he didn’t, I’d have to go get some – was there a drug store near the hotel?

And what if the guy doesn’t like me? If I buy condoms and lube, I won’t have enough money to take the bus back. What if the guy doesn’t want to see me, and what if he doesn’t give me a courtesy $20 for my time?

Bummer, huh? We’ve all had times when we wanted to kick ourselves in the ass for not being prepared. Sometimes we follow that buy telling ourselves how stupid we are and so on to include all the things we don’t like about ourselves and end up feeling rotten. Oh please. This can easily be avoided by making yourself a “trick bag.”

Basically, a trick bag is what you grab on your way out the door to a call, or something you can tuck into your purse when you’re out and about and you’re open to the possibility of a chance encounter. In it you keep just the essentials for a small discreet parcel, or you can create a mini-home-away-from-home with those little luxuries that make you and your client feel special. As in life, a little preparation goes a long way.

Below is a list of some essentials. You may want to keep only the bare necessities when you’re off to a fancy hotel and don’t want to look suspicious. When you’re visiting your favorite regular, you might want to pamper yourself, and maybe your client, with some extra touches.

Don’t count on your clients, even your regulars, to have condoms and lube on hand. The tiny one-time-use packets of lube are never enough, so buy a baby-sized lube for travel and refill it from a big economy-sized tub stored at home. Leave condoms in your jacket, purses, belt bags, gym bags, etc., but make sure they are not rubbing against anything that can damage them. Better yet, buy a small case to keep them safe.

Carry enough to get you where you’re going and back because you never know when you’ll be stiffed or plain-out rejected. Using telephone calling cards is expensive. Buy a roll of dines or quarters at the bank for making phone calls.

To carry or not carry is up to you, but if you are arrested you’ll be released sooner if you have ID, and what if you’re caught driving without a license? On the other hand, your ID could fall into the wrong hands.

THE CLIENT’S ADDRESS

Just in case something terrible happens to you or you suddenly turn forgetful, have your client’s full name, address, room or apartment number, and phone number written down on a piece of paper and put it in your shoe. It’s also a good idea to leave a copy of the same information at home as a security measure.

You probably already have it in your regular purse, but a nice, hot whorey lipstick, base, powder and eyeliner or pencil can make all the difference in your trick bag.

Like condoms, they are not made of steel, so keep them protected.

The adjustable ones work best since they can fit whomever. If you’re a guy, put one on before a call, before your hands are all slippery with lube.

Clothespins are fine. As with regular nipple clamps, take care to keep them away from condoms or gloves.

Keep them in a bag within your bag. Clear bags let your client see what’s coming next. If you’re carrying more than one, a large rubber band or ribbon around the dildo bag will keep them together, like a bunch of asparagus.

DISPOSABLE CONTRACEPTIVE

If you have an allergic reaction to Nonoxynol-9, you may use this as a spermicide in case of condom breakage.

For you and your toys. You might not like the hotel’s soap, or maybe you get grossed out by seeing someone else’s pubic hairs in that gooey bar of Ivory. Bring your favorite. Liquid soaps like Hibiclens or Dr. Bronner’s are less messy than bar soaps.

Another security option whether or not you are working.

Sometimes you don’t want to look like a full-on prostitute. You can wear a big coat over everything or you can bring stuff in your bag. Wearing flats to a call and slipping them on just before you knock on the door is good for your feet. You may also bring a set of clothes to wear home.

A favorite snack is great to munch on when you’re away from home. If the call went well, you can think of it as a reward. If the call wasn’t so hot, you can think of it as a consolation prize.

Most important when taking public transportation. Calvin and Hobbes or any of Lynda Barry’s books are great fun, and can give you something to smile about when the bump and grind is especially grinding. Also good: crossword puzzles and nature magazines. A newspaper is okay because it can suggest topics for small talk, but watch out for the print; you don’t want to arrive looking like an unwashed mechanic (or maybe you do!). I’d suggest leaving the slasher romance novels and the serial killer biographies at bedside, if not at the bookstore.

If there’s food involved, say a dinner date, bring a toothbrush and a tiny toothpaste. You never know what a client will remember – your great outfit or that nugget of food lodged between your front teeth.

Whorezine was the brainchild of Vic St. Blaise and started at the front of the 'zine revolution in the 1990s, offering both men and women in the business fun insights and useful information from around the globe.