HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

Editor’s Note: HIV educators trying to reach male sex workers with information and support encounter a variety of barriers – not the least of which is a lack of information about the “inner workings” of certain aspects of the sex work industry. CASH members have observed that accessing sex workers in the more “privatized” areas of the business – for example, escort services – poses a whole different set of challenges than street or bar outreach. The following interview with “Rick”, the proprietor of a gay male escort service in New York City, sheds light on a variety of issues in need of further discussion and consideration. While not representative of escort services as a whole, the interview does offer insights that may be useful to those trying to develop methods for reaching sex workers at all levels of the sex industry.

The interviewer is a freelance writer who conducted this interview on behalf of Gay Men's Health Crisis.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Please start off by telling us how you got involved in running an escort service.

Rick: I had never had any experience with sex work prior to this. I came out here from my home in California for a ten day visit – a friend of mine died from AIDS and I was coming out here to console his lover. Around the ninth day, the lover, who had been having a series of private meetings with other individuals during my visit, came to me and said, “I’ll bet you’re wondering what this is all about. Well, Max and I are opening an escort agency.” I said, “How fascinating. How exactly does that work? What’s your business plan?” And he said, “What a business plan?” So I agreed to consult with the for two weeks as they formed their escort service. There were hiring boys from the streets, boys from the bars – active sex workers, but the types who offer their services for far less money and take a great number of chances. It was an instant education that let me know that I couldn’t be part of that sort of thing. So we formed a different king of escort service with a different name. I can’t and don’t engage sex workers who are risky and will compromise themselves and other people. I have no professional escorts on staff. I feel for them – it’s not that I’m not aware of their situation and the dangers of all of that, so if I can help them by supporting CASH, great. But I can’t have them join my agency, because I saw the kinds of things that were happening to them – that they were constantly exposing themselves and their clients. I began obtaining brochures from GMHC and elsewhere and would distribute safe sex brochures at the beginning of every interview session. The professional escorts would pick them up and you could see from the expression on their faces that they couldn’t be bothered. So the change began. The new service developed a fine reputation, and we were successful in eliminating all professional escorts for the last full year of operation.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: When you don’t use “professional” escorts, whom are you using instead?

Rick: People who are otherwise employed full-time, or are full-time students, or are enjoying an active – not failed – acting or modeling career.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: So the escorting would be done for pleasure or for supplementary income, not as a sole or primary means of support?

Rick: I try to get someone who represents a combination of both: a person who really likes the occasional sexual outlet and will see that the client really enjoys himself. And who will never compromise himself because he needs the money. That, above all, is what I stress. The associates are only allowed to work three days a week, and I never have to enforce that rule; none of them ever want to work more than that.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Does a given day’s work amount to a single call per day?

Rick: Yes, only one gentleman per evening on a first come, first serve basis. An escort that works for me is looking to make $100-$300 per week supplemental income, and that’s all. No one, including me, is going to get rich in this business, It’s not about that; it’s about everyone enjoying themselves. That took a long time to accomplish, and I’ve certainly turned down a lot of beauties – some of the best looking escorts, in fact, so it for a living, all the time. Of great concern is what’s happening to the escort himself. I couldn’t sit and watch them deteriorate, and I’ve just never seen a situation where they don’t deteriorate, where they can keep themselves above the fray.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Do you mean in terms of substance use?

Rick: Yes. And I can understand the thought process. If you’re seeing four to sex gentlemen per evening and being whatever they want you to be, what’s left for you? O.K., so you’ve got all this money – where are you going to go with that money? In some way or another, we are all prostituting ourselves, but when you work so much that you don’t have your own life…
So we developed an agency with no professional escorts. My then-business partner and I had some differences, so we agreed to a friendly separation last March, My solo venture goes by the motto: “An agency of gentlemen, by gentlemen, for gentlemen.”

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: How do you advertise?

Rick: I advertise in publications like The New York Native, Next, and The Advocate. I was the only escort service allowed the official telephone information guide for the Stonewall 25/Gay Games and I’m in international directories on New York. And a lot of referrals come from individuals and agencies in other cities. I’m friendly with a number of my clients, particularly the out-of-towners, and I seek their recommendations of other agencies that operate similarly. I don’t think there are a lot of agencies that operate as stringently as I do, but there are a lot that I’m happy to say agree with all this. It cost me a lot of money in terms of lost calls to build to the point I’m at, but it’s been received very well. There are plenty of clients out there who don’t just want “Wham, bam, thank you, man” – these people call me regularly. There’s a large market for the occasional user of services who wants to experience more than just sexual pleasure, who wants a gentleman to converse with and share interests with and see again and again.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Give me a quick education on the term “escort.” I associate that with going out to dinner and having a nice evening. So what are the typical parameters of an “escort service”?

Rick: If we’re talking about a broad overview of escort services, there’s very little that could be called “typical.” But there’s a lot that can be called typical about my service. It goes like this: a client will meet someone who will provide a thoroughly enjoyable experience and create desire on the part of the client to see him again, and for a longer period of time. My basic rate is $160 an hour, which is low compared to most of my competition, who charge $250-$300 an hour. I keep my rates artificially low so that the client is encouraged to tip the guys more. My cut of $60 per call is more than sufficient. Then I offer further discounts. If the client wants to see an associate for a four-hour period that’s completed before 2 A.M. (because my rates go up at 2 A.M.), that’s $500 – or twenty dollars for the fourth hour. I discount my commission much more than I discount the escort’s part. The dinner/theatre rate of $750 buys a six-hour period completed before 2 A.M. Overnights are also available.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Is overnight contact something a lot of clients want?

Rick: I wouldn’t say so. But there are a good percentage of them who would like to see things develop to that point and then beyond. I’ve even booked trips to Europe and Hawaii and such places.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: So there’s very much a companionship element there.

Rick: Exactly. I call it companionship services, and we try to provide a full range of options. There is a dress code and code of conduct, and the associates must have something to speak about; I even give them a recommended reading list so they can offer more of an experience to the client. This caliber of escort almost demands, or lends itself, to longer or more steady arrangements where they get to know each other and only want to see one another. It’s interesting, too, the kind of clients I have – they range from 18 to 82 years of age, with a vast majority between 34-45.

When I came into this business, having had no experience with it, I thought that every client was going to be 60 years old and fat, bald, and ugly – and that all they’d want to see would be the under-twenty-two-year-olds. I was wrong on both counts. I don’t like dealing with the younger associates; for the most part, they’re too irresponsible and I worry that they will take certain chances, so I’m very leery of hiring anybody in their early twenties – I only hire people, by the way, from twenty to forty-two years of age. The clients are not only much younger than I thought they would be, but very good-looking. Associates keep coming back to me to say, “You should hire this client.” There have been two occasions, in fact, where clients have gone on to join as associates. Even more interesting is the number of people who seriously consider it. And it’s getting to the point where the client realizes that this is a convenience and a luxury, but it’s certainly nothing to be embarrassed about, so I’m getting a greater percentage of referrals than I did in earlier days.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: You’re saying that’s because your clients feel more open about the fact that they’re using your service. The shame factor isn’t so primary that they are keeping it a secret, right?

Rick: With certain kinds of services and sexual activities, it would be a deep dark secret, and forget getting any kind of referral. With this, it’s becoming a social king of thing and I’m very happy with that.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: How many people do you have as associates at any given time?

Rick: Roughly sixty to seventy. But on any given evening I might only have ten or fifteen associates available, because people are doing other things with their lives.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Do your clients identify as gay or bisexual?

Rick: The vast majority of my clients are gay. About 30% are married to women, another 15% or so are married to guys. Nearly 50% of my clients are partnered and do not want their partners to know they are using my services. Therefore I don’t ever identify myself when I call. The name we currently go by is discreet, so they can keep my card in their business card portfolio without anyone ever raising an eyebrow.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: How do your associates identify themselves – as gay, bisexual, or straight? And does it matter?

Rick: It matters to me. During the initial telephone interview or the in-person preliminary interview, I ask whether the potential associate considers himself straight, gay, or bisexual. I won’t hire anybody straight, or anybody bisexual if they think they’re more straight than gay. The “worship me from a distance” idea strikes me as wrong. I don’t like – on either the client or associate’s side – that one is giving more than the other. It must be an equal playing field. I don’t hire professional body builders, because I find that their egos increase in direct proportion to their body development. And I don’t want that offered to my clients, just as I don’t want my clients to think that they “own” or have “bought” my associates for an hour. A client is not allowed to repeat with this agency if he doesn’t treat my associate as a gentleman.
I also screen clients, and I automatically exclude anyone who is inebriated. I don’t deal with drunks or cokeheads, anyone who wants to discuss things of a sexual nature, or anyone who starts a conversation with “Do you have anything in a brunette?” I say, “Nope. Goodbye.” These are not “things,” they are individuals. These are human beings we’re dealing with.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Let’s move on to HIV issues. You’ve talked about your philosophy in the people you select to work for you, and you’ve said that you had out educational brochures when you meet with your associates. Why don’t you walk us through whatever it is you do along the way that is helpful to the process of supporting prevention ion your business, starting with your interactions with your associates.

Rick: It all starts with a phone call – potential associates are responding to an ad and I talk to them for 10 minutes on the phone, take some basic statistical data and learn a little bit about their personality, their schooling, where they work, and so on. Then there’s a preliminary interview where I meet them outside the office for 15-20 minutes, to answer some of their questions about me. If they like ma and I like them, they’re invited back for a full interview.

At the full interview, a two-hour orientation, they are here with two or three other new associates, and all are given the same presentation – starting with our rules and procedures, code of conduct, dress code, and the reasons for them. We give them hints on how to stretch a call out, how to get a good tip, and how to avoid getting into any trouble. During this time I hand out sever GMHC materials – the brochures on safer sex and condoms, the HIV antibody test, and the basic educational brochure. I also give numerous strong cautions against unsafe activity. I instruct them all to go to Condomania [a local condom and safer sex supplies shop]. I tell them, “If you’ve been in there before, great, but I want you to go in there as if you’ve never been there before. Go in as if you’re a business man walking into Staples or Office Depot, because now you’re going to get the tools of your trade.” I encourage them to get a variety of things.

As regards AIDS, to the associates I say, behave – as I hope you do in your personal life – as though everyone’s got it, and act accordingly. One thing I don’t do is tell them what precautions they must take (except of course any anal activity). I give them the brochures because I want them to know the safer sex guidelines if they aren’t already aware of them – and there are very few who are not aware. I tell them that they have to carry a ditty bag or toiletry kit, and in there are certain things that I expect to find there – a variety of high-quality condoms, personal grooming items, spermicidal lubricant (and I caution them about nonoxynol-9), unscented massage oil, etc.

I also have monthly inspections, during which whoever comes by to pay off or visit on a given evening, has to strip and show me that they have no venereal warts, herpes, scabies, or other obvious signs of a problem. All the associates agree to the monthly health check. I’m not a doctor, so it’s just a look for obvious problems.

I also warn them to take Bianca or Listerine rinse with them, but never to brush their teeth before a call [in case they’re doing unprotected oral intercourse]. I also tell them how effective back rubs can be in place of an out-and-out sexual session – certainly in the case of a client who wants to go a second time in a hour. I encourage the associates to respond to that kind of request by saying, “Look, we enjoyed ourselves so much the first time that rushing or straining through a second time will just take the edge off it. Let me try to give you a relaxing massage and see if that doesn’t make you feel better than you think the sex will.” I instruct the associates on the difference between a relaxing massage and a sensual massage. And I hear back from them that, yes, the clients really appreciate that much more because there’s tension, and that tension can be released in a great many ways.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: Do customers ever raise concerns about HIV over the phone?

Rick: When either party asks me “Are your clients safe? Are your associates safe?” I say, “No. No one’s safe. It’s 1994. You must act as if no one’s safe. I’m sorry, but that’s the only way to get through to 1995.” I make no representations whatsoever in that regard. But clients rarely ask that question – associates ask it much more often.

Gerry Gomez Pearlberg: In terms of what gets reported back to you by the associates, what is your sense about what’s going on out there? Are clients requesting unsafe things?

Rick: My overview of the industry is that yes, there’s too much unsafe stuff going on., all of my guys know that if there’s even a suggestion of doing something unsafe by the client, that they are to educate the client and beyond that never to compromise themselves. The associates carefully rehearse the line; “I won’t do anything unsafe, so if you wish, we can spend the balance of the time engaged in pleasant conversation in the living room.” They know that they do not have to perform sexually with clients.

My associates are all encouraged to look at themselves as a fantasy for these guys – as something utterly fantastic. I tell them to watch American Gigolo with Richard Gere and to imagine that they drive a Mercedes Benz and that they don’t need his money. They want his money, sure, but they’re not going to compromise themselves to get it.

Now disbanded, CASH (Coalition Advocating Safer Hustling) was a revolutionary group attempting to gather outreach workers from around North America to discuss sexwork seriously.