HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

Writer’s note: This is only a view of one dancer’s accounts, this is a basic guide and used only as a suggestion to the wonderful world of erotic dancing, always remember that common sense is a plus in this line of work.

Tips to getting started
The first and foremost thing to remember is that when you decide to become a dancer, you need to remember that it is all fantasy, and for the most part, how far you want it to go is up to you. You want to make sure that you give the audience what they are looking for—SEX—not some guy in underwear dancing around. One rule of thumb that has worked for me is to think of yourself in the bedroom: Move like you would with another; a lot of touching, fondling, sensual, meaningful slides of your hand on your body. Allow your senses to take over and make yourself feel the passion as you work over your body. Let nature take its course. The more sensual and the more intense you are, the more you will be noticed.

You have a few of ways of getting started, depending on how aggressive you are: one, you can go the route of entering amateur contests where you are more likely to show off what you got, but less chance of being asked to perform regularly; you can talk to the club entertainer director to see if he holds auditions (Be prepared for an invitation to a “private audition,” however it is up to you on how badly you want to pursue this opportunity); or you can talk with other dancers who can usually hook you up with the right people. Remember they are people too and were once in your shoes, so they can help out a great deal. However, all three options are subject to the location and the size of the dance club. Some places may not offer the opportunity for one or the other. But if you know the area and the club well enough, then it’s likely you will be able to choose the correct way to get an in.

What to Wear on Stage
Ok, so now you actually have a spot on stage. Great! But, now you need to figure out what you are going to wear. Let’s start with the last item that the audience will see—your underwear. Think of something that you would want to see: a g-string, a jock, a towel? Whatever you think would best suit you, if you know you look good in it, then so will your audience. Try not to wear something that would be less revealing. You want to show your goods, not hide them away. And nothing too tight, you don’t want bulges in places where you want to hide. Always look at yourself and be sure that you are satisfied with your appearance. You know what you got – always work with that. Once you have decided what types of underwear you will use, always remember that variety is the spice of life, which will keep your audience from getting too tired of seeing you. Once you have gone down to your underwear—that is it—the audience has seen everything and it is up to you to keep them hooked.

The Pants. You have several types in this department as well—breakaways, shorts, uniform. Again, it is all up to you. It is a good idea to keep your shoes on while performing, so whatever style pants you wear, they must be able to slip off over your shoes with ease so you don’t look ungraceful. Always try to have a variety of pants and shoes as well.

The Shirt. Depending on your audience, you could go with tank tops, leather jackets, something formal, you can either unbutton, pull off, or you may find that tearing off a shirt is a real turn on for your audience. You may want to do the rough look, or the business guy-type—again it is all in the variety of what the audience sees that will keep them coming back for more.

Tips on Getting Better
Ok, you have just finished your first set of the night, but now you need to “sell’ what you just showed off. Here are some tips on the best way to get the audience to respond with the dough:

a) Personality! Always be friendly—no matter what—even if you have to act like the guy you are talking to is the hottest thing on earth.

b) Undivided Attention. No matter what, if you are lap dancing a person or just having a conversation, be sure that you act like he is the only guy in the room. Do not blow him off too quickly, and yet don’t stay with one guy all night long.

c) Appealing to One’s Desire. Let’s face facts: you need the money; you need to work yourself; and you have what every guy wants, so you have to leverage it to make his fantasies, desires, his every wish “come true” (again it is up to the individual dancer on how far they want to pursue this). But a little attention, caressing, or chit-chat can make a world of difference.

d) Work the Room. Don’t sit in a corner—be out there, mingle, talk, wink! Sometimes being flirtatious can really help catch an eye. Look for people that seem to be alone, but don’t come on too strong: just a simple ‘Hello,’ or ‘How is your evening?’ is a good start. After you feel out the type of guy they are looking for, then become his ultimate fantasy.

e) Offer “Privates” or Lap dances. Don’t be afraid to touch your client, rub is shoulders or neck; but first of all, be sure he is responsive. Don’t intrude in his space unless he is willing. The first approach is always crucial: ease into it, and let him have control, then turn the conversation towards what you can do with him – for a price.

f) Allow Drinks to Be Bought. If a client wants to offer you a drink, accept it, but make sure to watch the bartender pouring it. Some places may not allow your to drink as a liability, or if you are uncomfortable, say it is club policy that you not drink. But if you can drink, keep everything level. The last thing you need is to lose control and be drunk while you are still performing. Even if you only drink water all night long, accept the drink. Do not go asking for drinks. If they think that you are hustling for drinks, then you will be paid in drinks. As a friendly gesture, allow them to get you one or two, and remember if they think you are pretty sociable, it always works in your favor.

g) Always Act Available. Even if in a long-term relationship, do not tell clients. You don’t need to do anything that would jeopardize your relationship, but you don’t want to seem unattainable to your audience. You are now in the public eye, and if you want to succeed, you want them to think they have a shot in dating you.

Working the Club (Dealing with Other Dancers / Managing Management)
Let’s face it. You know that you are in competition out there, there are other guys with others in the club looking to make money like you. How to work with them will all depend on your personality as well as theirs. Don’t go into a club as if you are ‘it’—try to become buddies with other dancers. Work together. Tag-teaming may work the audience more effectively than going alone. “The more the merrier,” if the audience sees that you like “three or more,” it may command a much longer attention span with them.

Management, on the other hand, can vary at different clubs. Some may have their own set of rules that you can either play by or rebel against, but your future can be hindered at these clubs. You are working for these people. If you don’t like the way they play, you can lose out. If a club owner tells you that you are going to give a private dance to a special client that you are not too fond of, you have an option—do it or not. If you choose not to, you may loose your favor. In any case, try to please the club owner and/or manager the best way you know how, but do not sacrifice your dignity.

10 Lines You’re Likely to Hear (And Why You Shouldn’t Believe Them)
1) “Let me take photos of you, cause I can make you a great star.”
Ok, where is this guy from? Unless you are in New York or LA then chances are you
are looking at an unauthorized Internet career. Chances are you are not going to go
anywhere.

2) “Just have another drink.”
Chances are that this person may have already bought you a few thinking that the more you drink the better he will look. Stay within your limit. There are nice ways of saying, “No,” but in the event that doesn’t work, talk to the bartender and arrange to have him serve you just soda no matter what.

3) “I have no money, but the next time I am in, I will pay you.”
And I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today! Yeah, like this line would work, but you would be surprised on how many guys out there would try it, looking for a chance for a free ‘private.’ Keep in mind, some clubs have a surcharge – you need to pay them in order to use their facility.

4) “I am an agent for So-and-so Video Productions.”
Get a card. Check him out. Don’t just assume he is telling you the truth. Assess the situation. Would an agent really come into this club? More often than not, this guy is looking for either a personal record or something to fill his Internet site.

5) “I am the best friend of the owner/manager and he said I get a free private.”
Double-check. Most people maybe friends of the owner/manager but s/he probably didn’t send them to tell you this. Go see the owner/manager and ask him. You would be surprised how many times he doesn’t even know the person.

6) “If you don’t do this, then you are fired.”
Often this can come from another dancer, someone that works in the club, or sometimes from a client. If this is said to you, go check it out. Ask. Chances are they are just trying to scare you into doing something that you just won’t do.

7) “I paid you, so I own you.”
You are not “getting paid." You are getting tipped. There is a difference. Most guys don’t understand that they are tipping you for giving them the attention. You have every right to move on to another client.

8) “I know you are a dancer, but I am attracted to you and would like to date.”
First of all, think about how you met. You were most likely in your underwear, flaunting your stuff, being sexy, and if you are single, do you think this guy is into your mind? He wants one thing, and he wants it for free. If you choose to pursue this, it is your choice, but it is unlikely that he is looking for anything more than a roll in the sheets and the bragging rights of having had you. These are clients, and should be strictly business.

5 Common Trouble Spots
1) The Bathroom. Always use the stall, helps the ease the harassment at the urinals

2) Bringing Boyfriends/Girlfriends to the club. Remember that you should work the club, meaning that you are supposed to be single. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is the jealous type, it could cause major friction.

3) Wear Shoes. Make sure your feet are protected for broken glass is common in any club.

4) Expect to be manhandled. Guys are going to be touching you. It is up to you not to lose your cool when they go too far. There are tactful ways of asserting your position without telling guys, ‘No.’ But always know ‘No,’ is also always an option.

5) Private dances are often expected. Even though you might not find your client attractive, he is just that—a client. If he is willing to tip you for this, at least try to indulge in his fantasy.