HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

I have been in this field for a little over a year and being over 40 when I began, I was fascinated at how much more I had to know and be familiar with when I started than the usual twink or muscle boy. The first and most important thing I learned was that I had to have the wisdom to know that my target market was going to be a LOT different than my younger, buffer, tanner, and smoother colleagues. Said in a simpler way, I am NOT everyone’s type. As a matter of fact, I would say from personal experience that the percentage of men who are into purchasing the company and time of a “man” (as opposed to a smooth, young and boyish or muscle boy) is on the significantly lower side.

Now, don’t get me wrong…I have absolutely nothing against younger men with beauty and musculature and, though it would not always be MY play-preference, I can truly understand the allure and I, by no means, begrudge them their clientele. The point I am making is that their clientele and mine are vastly different. That said, I think my situation has a few really good points about it when it comes to clientele.

The longer I work in this field, I am finding that my clients have a few things in common. Either they are younger men who are looking for a “daddy-type” and find it in an older, muscular, masculine, and hairy man to take charge. Or, they are around my age or older and have relatively the same physicality and find that they enjoy a “real man” who shares some of their same experiences and desires. Either way, it’s a specific type that they are looking for and we as escorts should be ready to be appreciated or not appreciated for fitting into that mold.

There are a few ways you can make sure that there will be no surprises. Depending upon how you advertise (and of course WHERE) there are a few guidelines to making your product as saleable as possible.

The first is…TRUTH IN ADVERTISING.

Here’s an example…I am six feet tall. I weigh 210 pounds and have a 36-inch waist and a 48-inch chest. I’m a big guy. However, in the vast array of bodies and body-types that there are on earth, there are a lot of ways the 6’, 210 can look. You know it and I know it. I could be ripped and hard as a rock…..This is NOT the case, I assure you. I am muscular and solid and hairy and all those things that make me, in the vernacular, a “muscle bear” — but a hardbody, I am not. SO, I don’t ADVERTISE anything but the truth. I make it abundantly clear to prospective clients that that is the case and I have far fewer problems after we meet than I can imagine having if I told them the truth. Most of the prospective clients who contact me are looking for my type anyway. And frankly, if they’re not into me, I’m not going to find it very easy to get into the scene anyway. Personally, I’ve never understood the point of lying about stuff like that. Obviously, the whole idea is for you and your client to MEET. What did you think? He was going to gloss over the fact that you have that hump?!?

Second…FIND OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

Some men find it difficult to ask for certain things. Either they’re having a hard time dealing with desires that they might think are a bit kinky or out of the ordinary or they aren’t sure what is the right protocol in the escort/client relationship. ASK QUESTIONS. Cover your ass, guys. If you get there and he answers the door and says, “Gee, I was assuming you’d wear leather” and you’ve never discussed it prior to that moment, it’s not ALL his fault. He may have liked what you were wearing (or not wearing) in your picture when he saw it and somehow expected you to be wearing THAT when you showed up. It is no crime to find out what will be expected. Offer options. Let him know what you will NOT do. If you don’t bottom TELL THEM. If you’re a big, butch looking man who can bottom for other big, butch guys offer that option. LOOK….it’s all about having a really great time and anything you can do to make it better for you both is only going to enhance the experience for everyone involved.

Now, third and I think most important…IT’S NOT JUST SEX!!!

Learn a little about a lot of things. Not just how to fuck like a stallion or give head like the very best, but how the body is put together inside and out. What feels good to you is probably going to feel good to him. PAY ATTENTION! What is he doing to YOU? Chances are good that he’s doing that because he knows it feels great from personal experience and wouldn’t mind if you returned the favor.

Not only that, learn about the world. Current events, world issues, the arts, sports, anything that might come up in a conversation. Because there WILL BE conversation. Sometimes that’s all there WILL be. Sometimes the client just wants to be around someone non threatening and in control and that’s enough for them. I have a regular client who comes to NYC once every month or so and we have a couple drinks and dinner and we talk about everything under the sun - he’s brilliant – and when the evening’s over, he tells me that it was incredible BECAUSE of all of the preamble conversation and it wouldn’t be half as much fun if I wasn’t “able to put two sentences together.”

Let’s get real...when you get to be of a certain age there are certain things that are expected of you. One of those things is wisdom. Another is experience, not only sexual aptitude but also life experience. Think about it this way…the finest courtesans in history were not always cherished only for their physical beauty. Yeah, a great body and a huge endowment are nice, but it’s not all that it’s about. Make the experience good for you both.

Steve works in the business primarily by way of internet advertising and word of mouth. You can reach him by email or find more information at his site.