HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

You cannot find a topic that embarasses Annie Sprinkle. As whore spokesmodel and international sex activist, she has become the figurehead for sex positivity, feminism, and many women's issues. So, HOOK took to a small Jewish cafe this fall to go head-to-head with one of America's strongest women about, of all things, men.

HOOK: When is the last time you had sex with a guy?

Annie Sprinkle: I lost my virginity at 17, and by 18 I was a prostitute at a massage parlor in Tucson, AZ. I worked off and on doing (pauses)…uh…doing the work of the sacred prostitute (grins). Off and on for 20 years making porn movies at the same time and about 12 years ago, I started getting interested in women. By 40, I was done with men. Joseph Kramer is like my husband. I’m very in love with Joe Kramer – he is my soul mate. We’ve been very sexual over the years but now I am pretty much just with women. I have been with one genetic man. My girlfriend now is a male to female. I was not with a man for eight years and then I wanted to make this movie - so I decided what was the most outrageous thing I could do was have sex with a man so I got on the casting couch and this guy walks in the door and we ended up having sex in practice. It was very seductive. It was a big deal to have sex with a man again cause I hadn’t in so long. He was in my movie and he was great. That was enough for me. I love men. I love women and I am very attracted to women. Butch women and transgendered women. Well, I needed something to do.

HOOK: Do you think that has to do with them being sexy?

AS: I think having been a prostitute for 20 years with men - eventually as much as I loved and adored them and I loved the guys I was with – like 90% - I think it really did affect me and my attitudes toward men. And being in porn so long. It wasn’t just being a prostitute but being in burlesque and doing strip show and being in movies. I just associated with very needy men or very macho horny kinda desperate men. Not all were like that but it did have an effect on me. The more I found myself with women the more I became a feminist. I actually put women on a big pedestal. Just politically, I want to be around other people who worship women, respect women. Not all men do. When I say men, that doesn’t include gay men. I don’t know why exactly. But I have always loved gay men. My closest friends have often been gay men. I don’t include them in this.

HOOK: What is sexy to Annie Sprinkle?

AS: Lipstick (as she puts it on). My hottub and that is very sexy. I have never lived in a house with a hottub. I just go and get loosened up and straddle the jet and look up at the stars and commune with nature and have great orgasms. I am monogamous now. I find monogamy sexy. I never thought I would like it, but I like the idea of focusing all my energy on one person. And this after having been super super super promiscuous and very open. I just always believed if it feels good, do it. Never would cut myself off from anything I want to do. Erotic experience. Taught workshops. Even if I was in a relationship … if I was on an airplane and some cute guy was next to me, I’d go in the bathroom and have sex. I felt like there were so many different kinds of sex to experience. Everyone is always looking for the ideal. I wasn’t into that – I was always open to the full palette of experiences. But then it got to the point where my heart really started getting involved. Where I would get only turned on by one person. My girlfriend and I – our sex lives revolve around a massage table. We take turns. One night it’s my turn and the next night it is hers. We take hours. I would rather have one really long 5-6-7 hour experience once every two weeks then have a little quickie. I like time. Time is erotic. Putting a lot of time into one session because the more time – it is like taking acid or X – it is a journey. In quickies I don’t go into altered states or get megagasms. I don’t feel a oneness with things. So, time. Massage is great. Because that gets the whole body open. With my hottub, I can have a nice clitoral experience. But a full body experience is sexy. Strippers are sexy. I could watch strippers. I love watching women do erotic dance. And men, for that matter. I worship great strippers. If I could come back my next life, it would be as a belly dancer. I respect that kind of creative artistic expression.

HOOK: One of the challenges for male sex workers is that it is women’s organizations at the forefront of resources. What are some ways you suggest both sides can find to work together in spite of many women in the business having negative experiences with men?

AS: I think [a project like HOOK] is a great bridge. Young, sex-positive, obviously political, idealistic, and activist. It is about education. There are lots of extremes. Whores can be very extreme. Everyone can be extreme. I think the bond among sexworkers is there, I think. I have been in prostitutes’ right movement since I was 18 when I saw the first issue of COYOTE and men have been part of that movement. I was at the Whore Congress in Brussels. Men were there. I think most women prostitutes love male prostitutes. In my experience, I haven’t seen any separation there. From my experience they have always been embraced as sisters.

HOOK: Do you think there are a lot of gigolos that deal with women clients?

AS: I interviewed a male gigolo named Ed Longly who had a huge penis. He put implants in and it was huge to being with. It just got huger. He was especially catering to size queens. And he did well. He was trained as a sex surrogate. He did really well. He was handsome and charming and women liked him. They would tell their friends. I think there is really a need. A lot of women have asked me if I know someone. It happens a few times a year. I think it is a word of mouth thing. There was another guy I met who was doing G-spot massage. And then I have my friend in Holland named Shai. When I was traveling in Italy by myself at 24, I actually met a gigolo and he came on to me and we had sex and he was really hustling to knock me up for money. Being a prostitute myself, I wasn’t just going for it. But he was really a gigolo. He didn’t get much out of me.

HOOK: You think there is a difference between Europe and America?

AS: He was working the streets. Tourists and such. I have had experiences with male prostitutes but mostly gay male prostitutes. I have initiated a number of gay male prostitutes into women. For example, Matthew Simmons who teaches for Body Electric. I definitely initiated him. Quite a few male prostitutes that wanted to cross over and work with women and they had these erotic skills and lovers’ skills. I think of erotic massage as sexual healers – they do it nude and give you hand jobs and the whole thing but it is a different kind of experience. She didn’t want a relationship and asked if I knew anybody she could pay. It does happen several times a year. She ended up falling in love with the guy and had a relationship for a couple years. The main difference is money. Women don’t have the same money men have and women are not trained to use money for sex. It is part of the culture. Women can get it for free as much as they want. We’re just not programmed to pay for sex. Just now, women are getting to the point where they will put money on sex toys and vibrators and dildoes and sex movies. That took a long time. Women are now being trained. A lot of the male prostitutes that catered to women that I have met usually get called by couples where a man wants to see his wife with another man. A lot of people don’t want to go to swing clubs and be public about it. There definitely is a market for a really cool guy who is sexy and has lover’s skills. He could make a killing. There’s more of it than you think. There was an escort service that I knew that always had a male escort on call. More kind of a fetish or hobby kind of thing.

HOOK: There was this guy I met last night who escorted in NY who has a hard time in relationships. Because sex is like a handshake – more functionally than anything else. Any ideas for people who want to change that?

AS: I certainly went through periods where I was doing a lot of prostitution work. I tried to limit myself to 2 or 3 days a week. I was able to make enough money, thank goddess, to take the rest of the week off to take classes, go shopping. There were sometimes I would work five days a week and there were periods where when I was in a relationship where I would not want to have sex – where I could care less or was too tired. Mostly it was always different with my bf then when I was with clients. It was a different level. I enjoyed being with clients. I was definitely a woman who had orgasms. I figured if I was there, I may as well enjoy it. There were times I became jaded. But I was dependent on the money so I would choose the prostitution over the relationships. That was important to me. With time, you do detox or transmute or morph into a different person when you are not working. We are very fluid and change all the time. When you are a working prostitute, you should enjoy it. If I could back, I would. I had a blast. It was a great experience for me. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Truly, one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It was great for my ego. I felt empowered. I made good money. Had a lot of fun. I really liked the work. I sometimes wish I could go back to it. I had a lot of sex. I don’t get enough anymore. I gotta work now. Books and artist and performing so I don’t have time for sex as much. Enjoy being a prostitute.

Some people can’t though. It is like if I went to work at a phone company, I would hate it. Sexwork is not for everybody. Some people cant’ stand it and it fucks them up. They turn to drugs and alcohol to escape the work they hate. It’s horrible.

These people should get the hell out of the business. I have a 12-step how to cure sexworker burn out. I’ve had to refer to my own steps. The last step is to get the hell out of the business if you just can’t recover. It can be a real class thing. I was in the upper classes of the business. Different than India where you are sold. It’s easy for me to talk. Some people have horrible experiences and are slaves, prisoners. I would do anything if I could to get them out of the business. I have met a lot of sexworkers and suggested they go into pinup modeling or porn movies. I think, when you can do your work and be creative and your own boss, do something you really vibe with. With sexwork, there are billions of kinds of prostitution jobs. I have found a lot of salvation in the creativity part. I think that’s why I stopped doping mainstream porn and prostitution because it was too limiting. I didn’t want to be put in someone else’s idea of what was sexy. I wanted to create my own role. My own character. I recommend people to look around at different options. Computers. Phone. Websites. Distribution. If you want to be in the sex industry, there are other ways than prostitution. I always gravitated to the mass media rather than one-on-one – though I liked one-on-one. I liked reaching a lot of people a little more than one person a lot.

Know thyself. The more work you do on yourself, the better your job will get. I look back at things I did and think I must have had the lowest self-image to do this or that. I put my life in jeopardy. I hitchhiked in the desert in AZ and got in all these trucks. If I didn’t go along with the program, I would have been raped. I never did get raped, but I had sex with a lot of truck drivers. I grew out of it cause I did a lot of therapy. I’m not all the way there yet.

Sexworkers are doing an important service. Learn about that. There are good books out there that talk about sexwork in a positive light. Have some whore pride. Understand why what you are doing is important. And why there is a prejudice and stigma against sex workers and that it is bullshit. Sex workers are not bad people. Some are the finest most wonderful integral talented people. Magical. Not that they all live tragic lives. That they will be murdered, low self-images. There is that aspect, but it is not the whole truth.