HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

Almond oil was the "oil du jour" in massage school. Of course, "any nut oil will do" so said Dale, our massage instructor with testicles the size of Idaho. And when oiling up Dale's thighs, god forbid we should brush up against those balls and awaken "the beast"! "Nut oils stay on top of the skin," he would say, "giving just enough resistance and glide." Yeah, like we were really paying attention to the 'glide!'

I liked almond oil (and Dale for that matter), but I did notice that it went rancid rather fast, even when being refrigerated. I tried sesame oil, peanut oil, grape seed oil, and in my wrestling phase, olive oil. Each of them had their good points and bad. All of them had a scent, and if they were to go rancid, you'd know it right off!

When I attend any Body Electric workshop, I notice they always use coconut oil. For a long time I did as well in my practice. It's thick, it must be heated (it's hard at room temperature) and really is great for cock massage. The properties of coconut oil make it a choice moisturizer for the skin and hair as well. It's murder on your sheets and towels (see 'cleaning'), and if your client arrives in a suit, better make sure the oil is well removed before he puts that Armani back on.

Lotions and Creams

So, what else is out there? Well, there are lotions and creams. You can find these at Body Shop type stores and health food stores. Because it's usually low in oil content, lotions immediately sink into the skin and must be reapplied several times during the massage. Therefore, It takes a lot of lotion to give a massage. As a side note, most lotions contain mineral oil which is not good for the skin (and will break condoms). Creams on the other hand work well. Biotone makes a dual purpose massage cream as well as a cream for deep tissue. Creams generally give you a 'grip' and some resistance against the skin when doing deeper work. It's good for travel too as cream doesn't spill, and easily wipes off.

Odiferous Clients

Ever get a 'stinky' client? I got just the solution! Take some corn starch and put it in a bowl. Grab some of it in you fingers and sprinkle it onto the skin. The 'droplets' of powder on the skin feel very sensual. Now, just go ahead and give the massage. You'd be surprised at how deep you can go and how nice the powder works in. On those hot summer days when guys come in all sweaty, it's the perfect natural deodorizer. They leave feeling 'powdery fresh' and hey, it's what our grandmothers used to use on their babies! You can dust off the excess powder with a soft cloth. By the way, never use "baby powder." Not only is talc bad for the skin, but baby powder smells like babies! Same goes with using baby oil. One big DON'T! The stuff is nothing more than mineral oil and again, it smells like babies! Real men don't smell like babies!!

And since I'm on the smell subject, I don't use essential or scented oils in my massage work. It has been my experience in working with men, that they do not want to go back to the office smelling like "frankenscence & myrrh" or "clary sage." Even if smelling like a eucalyptus branch in the outback does bring them inner calm and stimulates their thymus, that just won't cut it for the board meeting they're heading towards, let alone what the wife back home will think. For those delicate granola queens who DO want a special scented oil, I have them bring their own. Believe me, they are happy to do so.

Well, they don't mix too well as you can imagine. If you are planning on having sex during or after a massage, be sure and have the "Avanti" brand polyurethane condom along. These are non-latex, and therefore are OK to use with oil. But I might make a few suggestions here. First of all, if at all possible, wash the oil off of your hands and dick, or at least wipe off the excess. Even though the Avanti condoms can be used with oil, I still break out the lube or Eros. The ass just loves water based lube, that's all. Any ass will thank you with a safe, smooth, comfortable ride for that consideration.

Now that we've got oil and cum all over the sheets, how DO we clean up all of this fun!?! Health food stores sell "citra-sol". It's the equivalent of "pine-sol", but more expensive. A cup of citra or pine-sol in with your laundry along with a heavy dose of your regular detergent does the trick in removing the oil. I actually buy fabric off the bolts at fabric stores to use on my massage table. The 45" width is perfect for the table, and I get flannel for the winter and cotton for the summer. Fabric is much cheaper than sheets and therefore, more disposable.

My oil of choice these days is Biotone's "Clear Results" massage oil. It's made to wash out of sheets completly. It's great stuff, heats up nice for hot oil massage and doesn't go rancid.

Dale would be so proud, I've learned a lot since massage school... hmmmm, could I ever take care of those balls now!!