HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

Have you ever wondered why it is best not to use your birth name when in the business of escorting? Some of you might be asking, "What's in a name?" Speaking from experience, I'm here to tell you that the answer is: a lot!

Look at Clark Kent for example, even though he is a fictitious character, can you image the troubles he would have if anybody was to find out his secret that he is really Superman? I may sound a bit overdramatic, but the principle is similar.

In this following article, I hope to shed some light on this rather tender subject, and give you the best tools you will need to choose a good pseudonym that is right for you. I will carefully lay out five different examples of how to create and maintain your new pseudonym, and I will discuss the benefits that you will enjoy by doing so.

Why must I change my name?

The answer is you NEVER have to do anything you don't want to do. I'm sure there are many escorts out there that feel more comfortable using their own names. Changing your name is only for your comfort and YOUR PROTECTION. Imagine if you were trying to put yourself though law school and you were only escorting on the side to earn some extra cash in order to get through school, but you were planning to quit as soon as you got that all important degree. What would you do if your friends found out you were an escort, or your family, or in the worst case scenario, your school? Well, first of all, you'd have some major explaining to do, but secondly, and most importantly, you would probably loose out in the field of law as it would be a MAJOR black mark against you as you are not permitted to practice law when you are breaking them. I know this point will go up against a lot of scrutiny by my fellow peers, but I can tell you that no matter how harsh the outcome, it still won't look good for you. I must stress that even though you do change your name, there is still the strong possibility that you may encounter these same or similar problems. However, if you do use a pseudonym, it will decrease those chances and lessen the odds.

The name game: Why is it important to choose a good name?

We are all business men here, and we have a product that we want to sell. When you have a product that you want to sell to the public you must think to yourself, "would I buy this product?" and "would the name or the packaging make me buy this product?" These are very good questions to ask yourself. You must remember that the client is looking for something, and you do not necessarily have to cater to each specific client, but you should be comfortable in your name and image. What image or message do you want to give off to your client? For instance, if you want a very boy next door look you wouldn't want to call yourself Bruno or Hercules. Clients will think that you are too butch for them or maybe you are into some very heavy and kinky scenes and they will be turned off and you will lose business. Remember that a lot of clients forget the physical picture they might have seen of you before and are now relying on your own personal description to let them know what they are getting. In this case, Bobby or Johnny might be the better names to go with. I chose the name ZAK because it is masculine sounding no matter who says it. It also is a name that commands respect and signifies power and self confidence, all of the images I want the client to see. Remember, you want to keep all the good parts of the real you intact, but in a sense, you are also becoming another person entirely as well. This can be a lot of fun and really good therapy as well, but we will get into the more therapeutic aspects a little later.

Who am I today?: Separating fantasy from reality.

There can be a few downsides to having one or more names, but where I'm from (Hollywood), it's an almost mandatory practice. I can definitely speak from experience on this point as I have three different names, sometimes four, and each one of them has its own distinct personality and reason for being created. No, I'm not schizophrenic, but all these different names seem to take on a unique life of their own. It is really easy to get frustrated or confused when you are walking down the street and you hear one or two of your names being called out and you have to stop and say to yourself, "Wait! Who am I today?" For me Zak is created out of the best bits of my other names, but is also a good deal of the characteristics of a person that I might like to most emulate as well. Zak might be more daring or outgoing than my other daily personas, or he may be something that my other personas could never imagine being.

This practice is very close to being on the verge of fantasy. There is a saying: "There's a fine line between pleasure and pain." The same is true with fantasy. It, too, has a fine line, and when wrongly crossed it could have unpleasant consequences. It is best to always remember that for some of us our pseudonym is just a character. We are playing an integral part in our clients' fantasies. It is best to say to yourself, "I am Joe, but when I'm working, I am Thor." This way you will be able to separate the two entities more easily and you can safely go about your business. There may also be the problem that the character that you create becomes you. I must admit that in a lot of ways that Zak has taken over most of the control. I think the reason for that is because I spend more time as Zak as it is my full time job, but when I am doing my music or talking to friends, I usually tend to not want to be Zak. Recently I was working out in the gym with a friend, and he kept calling me my other name and not Zak. I actually started to think I think that I should be Zak here as well because either past clients or potential clients frequent this gym, and it gets too confusing to explain my other name. I also think that for security and privacy's sake, you should not have potential or past clients knowing your real name. I am guilty of getting too comfortable with a client and telling him my real name and then later regretting it. So it is best to make sure that you feel comfortable with the name you have chosen for yourself, and when it is most comfortable and appropriate for you and your current situation to be used.

How can I make my pseudonym work best for me?

As I discussed earlier, there really is a lot in a name. A name can mean power, strength, prestige, or confidence. Choosing the right name might mean the difference between you hooking a client or not. I always have to remind myself that MARKETING is the most IMPORTANT aspect of ANY business. If you don't market your product how can you expect to sell it. You must be both creative and realistic with the name and the persona you choose. Do NOT choose the name Zeus and say you are a dominant top when your idea of dominance is saying, "Yes, Sir! Thank you, Sir!" Your client will immediately recognize that you both have very different ideas of domination and your goose is cooked! The worst thing you can do is choose a name and image that you cannot fully live up to. Another point to stress is SECURITY, do NOT use your real name in this business unless you are willing to deal with the consequences of it coming back to haunt you. If a client transaction should go wrong or you get a stalker, you will wish that you had not used your birth name. With today's every growing, ever changing technology, there are more and more ways to gain a lot of information about somebody with just a little bit of info. If somebody wants to track your history or current whereabouts, it's easy enough to obtain that info without giving them a big helping hand such as a real name. Trust me, do NOT use your birth name and give as little info to your clients about the "REAL" you as possible. You will be thankful you did in the long run.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste: Psychological benefits of a good pseudonym.

We have already briefly touched upon this subject, but I would like to revisit it a bit more deeply here. There are many ways to skin a cat , as they say, but the benefits of choosing a good pseudonym could be vast and plentiful, especially when dealing with affairs of the mind. Did you ever just wake up one day and wish you could pull a Freaky Friday? You know, switch places with somebody else if only for a day. Did you ever want to see how the other half lived? Have you wondered how much better off you would be if you were them? Well, I do NOT recommend changing your name because you don't like who you are or because you want to be somebody else. I am saying that by playing the part of somebody else, you are getting to explore those possibilities while satisfying that deep down curiosity. Just remember that "curiosity killed the cat." Also, remember that when you go to explore that you remember to come back. First and foremost, you MUST love being YOU. Whoever you are or choose to be, you must still love the soul that lives within that protective shell we call your body. Real truth comes from loving oneself, though this may be a very hard lesson to learn and an even harder one to teach, it all starts from inside. So when you choose a name that you feel will make you stronger, more confident or sexy, remember that these are all qualities that you already have you just must look within yourself and find them. Only through love of oneself can you accomplish this. I won't lie to you, psychologically Zak has made me a much more focused, more sexy person. It has empowered me to strive for more and be able to achieve my goals much easier. It also has helped me to love myself and respect myself a little bit more. However, I realized that though Zak has been a great experience for me, Zak is JUST A NAME, JUST A CHARACTER created by ME. So as they said in the Wizard of OZ, " You've always knew where home was it is where the heart is"

Or something like that. Remember love yourself, and then, you can become somebody else for a while.