HOOK: E-zine By, For, and About Men in the Sex Industry

I have met whores with the greatest names. Dirk. Crash. A guy once named Justice. So few were their real names (obviously), but in the world where you are play-acting often, building up relationships you cannot acknowledge in the world populated by family and friends, and working the nine-to-five, you are allowed a certain poetic license with identities.

In my time, I have been called Lucas, Zach, Able and Matthew. I took on assorted names when I felt at risk or a client 'needed to know' the real me. The real me wasn't what they desired but a secret, something that made the cash transaction less of a purchase and more of an agreement like Native Americans accepting the beads as if it replaced a home. What they want is the intimacy. For a lot of clients, the relationship a sexworker provides goes beyond the acts of sex, and it nestles in the heart of affection itself. It can be the act of care.

But what about your name? And your address? Personal information can be a touchy subject, especially for guys that disassociate the sexwork existence from the day-to-day, dating, or a life that otherwise seems normal. For many sexworkers, the new name is like a sexual rebirth, a space that opens up and a baby pops out with a hardon and fresh dollar bills almost like the moral contract of your current life is no longer valid when you are a guy named Bill escorting out as Blake, Zachary, or Dane. I know that when I took on Lucas, it was a more boyish name to me, allowing myself to be sensitive and soft, placating and caring, when my impatience with clients would normally have killed me. Or as Abel, I was (pun intended) able to keep an Internet porn chatroom calm and playful by the wink of an eye, the polite gaze in to the lens, the acknowledgement of naughtiness as a rule and not the exception.

Ask Will Clark who says that his name gave him the ability to act out his many desires that his birthed predecessor seemed unable to perform. And now, the two have ellided and his real name seems like a high school graduation picture, foreign and retro.

But I kept my name instead of sliding deeper into a Lucas or a Zach (both names I favored over my mother's choice) and have learned to balance the two without destroying the 'old' me in favor of a newer whore. I was a whore all along, but do I want to share that with the client?

Not really. Not the real name. Not anymore. I had done that and guys got attached quickly. Most wanted to take care of me, and while I did make the choice of dating a former client, I did not want that to be the case with most of them. There was a clear line to me. A line that many wanted to erase. And the name, the name provided a great way to play intimate while playing dumb.

One escort I know uses 7 names in the same paper. Each name being a different 'character' for an ad. The trouble comes up when the same guys call the different ads and wonder how they got...the same guy. But for him, it is like a way to sort out the different 'personalities' of his work. For me, it is like a marking of chapters. I whored with this name. Jerked off on camera with this one.

Bottom line: you should use a different name. The harder part is negotiating how important that name is to you and how you will react when/if clients find your real name. Or perhaps, it is just an issue as to what you want to sell and what name is important to you. There is a lot to each name you chose - for both your client and you.